ESSAY June 2022 -A Blessing in Disguise - Hamed

Remembering my life in the lust world, I still feel terror and despair—the feelings which I had been living with everyday—before coming to the program. For many years, being addicted to compulsive sexual behaviors and thoughts was the biggest and worst problem in my life. A fact that made my life a real disaster. Some nights I had dreams that I would have a happy life without this problem, but in the morning when I realized that it was only a dream, I felt huge grief. It was a sad fact of my life for which there seemed to be no remedy. If I tried to accept this, the emotions became more severe than what I could tolerate, and I had to numb them by getting back to my addiction. I couldn't imagine anything worse than the hell I was living in.