ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)
The mission of ESSAY is to serve as a source of information, experience, strength and hope to sexaholics, both inside and outside the rooms of Sexaholics Anonymous. Our vision is to provide a high-quality “meeting in print” that gathers together members from around the world. It can serve as a portable “extra meeting” especially for loners and for members who don’t have access to many meetings. In addition, Essay serves as an outreach tool to carry the message to those who have not yet found SA. We strive to include a mix of stories and shares from a wide variety of members, including men and women, prisoners, and international members. In addition, ESSAY provides Fellowship announcements and information on subjects such as new meetings, Fellowship events, and our service structure. We hope that all of the articles we publish will offer useful information and provide experience, strength, and hope to all who suffer from the disease of sexaholism. Fellowship actvities such as international conventions, regional events and local events appear in the Calendar section. Each issue has a theme and various sections to share sexaholic stories and practical tools. In addition to letters and group news, ESSAY offers short, edited articles written by members about recovery and our solution. The Practical Recovery Tools section features members sharing on the topic, “Exactly how I did it.” Submissions may also include meditations, poetry, and humor. ESSAY is guided by the principles of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. Each issue contains the following statement:
Listen on:
Episodes
Episodes
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
An unexpected moment of love helped his wife move from despair due to disclosure to hope for recovery.
On the advice of our marriage counselor—before I ever entered SA—I told my wife the truth about my sexual acting-out. He encouraged honesty, though he didn’t know the full extent of my behavior. We arranged for the kids to be out, and I intended to reveal only a little. But once I began, everything poured out at once, like a dam breaking. Wave after wave of deceit and infidelity spilled into the open. As destructive as it was, I felt an immense relief finally releasing the secret I’d carried for years. I had no idea how good it would feel to get it all out into the open. What I didn’t consider was the impact on my wife.
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
The power of God sustained her during the nightmare of hearing a disclosure.
I first came to SA in January 2022. I knew immediately that I found people who could help me find true sobriety.
I was in a relationship with someone, though we weren't married. We tried to be respectful of the need to wait for sex until marriage, but we struggled.
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
This member reflects on all the different aspects of the Program that helped him to never fully disclose to his loved one.
After 41 years of sobriety in recovery, I have still never fully disclosed my SA story to my wife. Even now, I ask myself how that could be.
I am not entirely sure of the reason. Perhaps I was too frightened. Perhaps I was following the guidance in the AA and SA literature. Perhaps my wife did not want details. Perhaps her Al-Anon sponsor advised her not to revisit the past. Whatever the reason, the simple truth is that I have never spoken to my wife in detail about my acting-out behavior.
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
She realized that, following the guidance of our literature and of her sponsor, she adoivded experiencing the tragedy of a premature disclosure.
I consider myself very fortunate in the course of my disease and recovery. I was not discovered by my husband in an affair. I was never publicly exposed or humiliated. I was not arrested for anything related to my sex addiction. I was never confronted by the wife of a man I was inappropriately involved with. And yet, as I crossed one personal boundary after another, I knew I was not being the person my Creator wanted me to be.
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Instead of sharing everything to get it off his chest, he learned that if he hasn’t worked the Steps on something, then he doesn’t share it.
When I first came into SA, I just wanted to share everything, to get it off my chest and take away the guilt of what I had done and where I’d been. I am really grateful that I read the caution in the White Book because I was going to destroy the people that were around me and set myself up for failure.
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Her experience has taught her that gossip in the Fellowship can be a harmful form of disclosure.
Sexual intimacy is a way to communicate my commitment to my spouse. That is why it hurt deeply when my husband, while we were married, told me that he was having an affair. His affair communicated that I didn’t matter to him. I became physically sick and didn’t want to live anymore. I wish he had never told me because that information is permanently seared into my brain. I can’t unremember it.
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
The wives of these sex addicts spoke up to voice the damage that was done to them, but the complaints were not directed to the sexaholics.
I started recovery by going to a famous treatment center for sex addiction. The program included “Family Day”. The “highlight” of Family Day was a process called disclosure, where I describe the wrongs I had done to my family, and the family gets to describe how my actions impacted them.
Friday Feb 13, 2026
Friday Feb 13, 2026
A Journal of 90 Meetings in 90 Days.
Luc D. traveled to Nashville in 2009 to attend 90 in-person meetings in 90 days in a desperate attempt to save his life after a relapse binge. He kept a journal during this time and shared it with other members. Below and in the following editions, ESSAY will be sharing parts of his journal.