{"store":{"baseInfo":{"podcastTitle":"ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)","slug":"essaymagazine","podcastDescription":"The mission of ESSAY is to serve as a source of information, experience, strength and hope to sexaholics, both inside and outside the rooms of Sexaholics Anonymous. Our vision is to provide a high-quality “meeting in print” that gathers together members from around the world. It can serve as a portable “extra meeting” especially for loners and for members who don’t have access to many meetings. In addition, Essay serves as an outreach tool to carry the message to those who have not yet found SA.\n\nWe strive to include a mix of stories and shares from a wide variety of members, including men and women, prisoners, and international members. In addition, ESSAY provides Fellowship announcements and information on subjects such as new meetings, Fellowship events, and our service structure. We hope that all of the articles we publish will offer useful information and provide experience, strength, and hope to all who suffer from the disease of sexaholism.\n\nFellowship actvities such as international conventions, regional events and local events appear in the Calendar section. Each issue has a theme and various sections to share sexaholic stories and practical tools. In addition to letters and group news, ESSAY offers short, edited articles written by members about recovery and our solution. The Practical Recovery Tools section features members sharing on the topic, “Exactly how I did it.” Submissions may also include meditations, poetry, and humor. ESSAY is guided by the principles of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. Each issue contains the following statement:","podcastLogo":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9.png","podcastShareLogo":"https://d2bwo9zemjwxh5.cloudfront.net/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9_1200x628.jpg?s=7107bf260949b1a0ea10185a25601305&e=png","podcastUrl":"https://essaymagazine.podbean.com","podcastCanSearched":true,"feedUrl":"https://feed.podbean.com/essaymagazine/feed.xml","theme":"podisc","podcastDeepLink":"https://www.podbean.com/pw/pbblog-h8g8x-d787d5?from=usersite","removePodbeanBranding":"no","brandingLogo":null,"timeZone":{"timeZoneId":5,"gmtAdjustment":"GMT-08:00","useDaylightTime":1,"value":-8,"text":"(GMT-08:00) Pacific Time (US & Canada)","daylightStartTime":"Second Sunday Of March +2 Hours","daylightEndTime":"First Sunday Of November +2 Hours","timezone":"America/Los_Angeles"},"podcastDownloads":null,"totalEpisodes":835,"showComments":true,"iOSAppDownloadLink":null,"customizeCssUrl":null,"androidAppDownloadLink":null,"showPostShare":true,"showLike":true,"author":"Essay Magazine","enableEngagementStats":true,"shareEmbedLink":"https://admin5.podbean.com/embed.html?id=pbblog-h8g8x-d787d5-playlist","language":"en","sensitivitySessionExpireTime":86400,"podcastApps":[{"name":"Apple Podcasts","link":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/essay-podcast/id1627713587","image":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1/site/images/admin5/apple-podcast.png","title":null},{"name":"Podbean App","link":"https://www.podbean.com/pw/pbblog-h8g8x-d787d5?from=usersite","image":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1/site/images/admin5/podbean-app.png","title":null},{"name":"Spotify","link":"https://open.spotify.com/show/45wVTa9VedPBKbsHCnNxZv","image":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1/site/images/admin5/spotify.png","title":null},{"name":"Amazon Music","link":"https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/d3328d4b-cf74-44e9-9117-0432e918804c","image":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1/site/images/admin5/AmazonMusic.png","title":null},{"name":"iHeartRadio","link":"https://iheart.com/podcast/96961163","image":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1/site/images/admin5/iHeartRadio.png","title":null},{"name":"PlayerFM","link":"https://player.fm/series/3349823","image":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1/site/images/admin5/PlayerFM.png","title":null},{"name":"Podchaser","link":"https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/essay-podcast-4722956","image":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1/site/images/admin5/Podchaser.webp","title":null}],"components":{"base":[{"id":"MainStyle","val":"light"},{"id":"Font","val":"EB Garamond"},{"id":"SecondaryFont","val":"PT Sans"},{"id":"PlayerColor","val":"#FF6600"},{"id":"Favicon","val":"https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/7n83qw/unnamed.png"},{"id":"CookiesNotice","val":"hide"},{"id":"CookiesNoticeContent","val":"

Cookies Notice

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies.

"}],"home-header":[{"id":"HomeHeaderTextColor","val":"#FFFFFF"},{"id":"BackgroundImage","val":"https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/a4p47g/Logo_No_Subtitle_Clear4.png"},{"id":"BackgroundImageForMobile","val":"https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/dzj8bi/Logo_No_Subtitle_Clear6.png"}],"page-header":[{"id":"PageHeaderTextColor","val":"#ffffff"},{"id":"SecondaryPageBackgroundImage","val":"https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/r9gcjs/Logo_No_Subtitle_Clear4.jpeg"},{"id":"SecondaryPageBackgroundImageForMobile","val":"https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/69bj5a/Logo_No_Subtitle_Clear6.jpeg"}],"episode-list":[{"id":"EpisodeListType","val":"list"},{"id":"EpisodesPerPage","val":8},{"id":"EpisodeStats","val":"show"}],"navigation":[{"id":"NavigationFontColor","val":"#FFFFFF"},{"id":"NavigationBackgroundColor","val":"#000000"},{"id":"NavigationSearch","val":"show"},{"id":"NavigationLinks","val":[{"id":"Home","type":"Link","value":"/","text":"Home","subitems":[]},{"id":"Subscribe","type":"Link","value":"https://www.podbean.com/site/podcatcher/index/blog/pyNVRWHEqubX","text":"Subscribe","subitems":[]},{"id":"Profile","type":"Link","value":"https://www.podbean.com/user-K0Ob3aTYAfpw","text":"Profile","subitems":[]}]}],"footer":[{"id":"FooterType","val":"Footer2"},{"id":"FooterFontColor","val":"#000000"},{"id":"FooterBackgroundColor","val":"#ffffff"},{"id":"FooterCopyright","val":"Copyright 2023 All rights reserved for Essay Magazine (https://essay.sa.org)"},{"id":"SocialMediaLinks","val":{"facebook_username":"","twitter_username":"","instagram_username":"","youtube_username":"","linkedin_username":""}}],"customize-container1":[],"customize-container2":[]},"allLinks":[],"mainStylesDefaultSettings":null,"defaultCustomizeComponents":null,"scripts":[],"metas":null,"appConfig":{"package":"com.podbean.app.podcast","app_store_id":973361050,"app_name":"Podbean","scheme":"podbean"},"customizeCss":null,"canEditCss":null,"enableJsCodeInCustomizeContent":false,"enabledIframeCodeInCustomizeContent":true,"sectionMaxCount":10,"enableEditorLink":true,"enableEditCookiesNotice":true,"siteRedirectToFeed":false,"podcatcherRssUrl":null,"showFeed":true,"showTopBar":true,"enableWebSiteLike":true,"organizationName":null,"organizationPageLink":null},"backToListUrl":"/","tinymceLoaded":false,"listEpisodes":[],"userLikedEpisodes":[],"userLikeCheckedEpisodes":[],"topBarIframeLoaded":false,"listTotalCount":0,"listTotalPage":0,"listPage":0,"listType":"all","listValue":"","listName":"","pageLoading":false,"apiBaseUrl":"https://essaymagazine.podbean.com","apiCommonParams":{"t":"68726164","clientSignature":"a387f713092657ada335493306c86f5f","u":null,"customizing":null},"apiCommonHeaders":{},"comments":[],"commentsTotalCount":0,"commentsTotalPage":0,"commentsPage":1,"commentEpisodeId":"pb23659935-krk87","episode":{"id":"pb23659935","idTag":"krk87","title":"ESSAY August 2024 - What Is This Thing Called Lust? - Juan Carlos L., Madrid, Spain","logo":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9_300x300.png","shareLogo":"https://d2bwo9zemjwxh5.cloudfront.net/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9_1200x628.jpg?s=7107bf260949b1a0ea10185a25601305&e=png","largeLogo":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9.png","previewContent":null,"content":"

I reached out to an SA member in June 2017 in response to his email sent two months before, and I knew I had a problem with my compulsive behavior. On a daily basis, I was satisfying my “needs” like an automaton programmed to perform repetitive searches. I kept trying to fill the terrible emptiness that my secret life hid for ages.

","publishTimestamp":1722909156,"duration":340,"mediaUrl":"https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/4p67gtc56xuykxqz/What_is_this_Thing_Called_Lustb1wx8.mp3","mediaType":"audio/mpeg","shareLink":"https://admin5.podbean.com/embed.html?id=pb-krk87-169059f","likedCount":0,"deepLink":"https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-krk87-169059f","transcriptUrl":null,"permalink":"/e/essay-august-2024-what-is-this-thing-called-lust-juan-carlos-l-madrid-spain/","downloadLink":"https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-krk87-169059f?download=1","fallbackResource":null,"fallbackResourceMimetype":null,"downloadCount":143,"status":"publish","hasMoreContent":false,"chaptersUrl":null,"explicit":false},"episodeShareLink":null,"deepLink":"https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-krk87-169059f","playlist":{"episodes":[],"current":0,"start":0,"stop":0,"playing":true,"playerLoading":true,"playbackRate":1,"playbackRateIndex":1},"toasts":[],"confirm":null,"customizeEditorFormZIndex":999,"lastRequestTime":null,"validateChangesOnBeforeunload":true,"windowWidth":1000,"VITE_FS1_CDN_URL_PREFIX":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/fs1","reloadStats":false,"userIdEncrypted":null,"userProfilePicture":null,"username":null,"isVerified":false,"loadUserInfo":false,"loginUrl":"https://www.podbean.com/site/user/login?return=https%253A%252F%252Fessaymagazine.podbean.com%252Fe%252Fessay-august-2024-what-is-this-thing-called-lust-juan-carlos-l-madrid-spain%252F&rts=9800101f69b3736c57546711b463ff185bfc6fc1","recaptchaV3Loaded":false,"recaptchaV2Loaded":false,"likesLoaded":false,"commentLikeMap":{},"commentOffset":0},"episode":{"id":"pb23659935","idTag":"krk87","title":"ESSAY August 2024 - What Is This Thing Called Lust? - Juan Carlos L., Madrid, Spain","logo":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9_300x300.png","shareLogo":"https://d2bwo9zemjwxh5.cloudfront.net/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9_1200x628.jpg?s=7107bf260949b1a0ea10185a25601305&e=png","largeLogo":"https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/14125013/ESSAY_recordings_logo_Large_ibqjt9.png","previewContent":null,"content":"