ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

The first good feeling that I can recall in life was when I was five years old and my father had given me a bottle of Rolling Rock beer. I felt the effect of the alcohol as I sat drinking in a corner. Looking across the room at my father, I was just full of love for him. It was a wonderful feeling.
 
The next good feeling I remember was around the same time and involved a girl named Nancy who was also about five years old. It was a warm summer day, and I picked little Nancy up in my arms, carried her over to my mother and said, “Nancy and I are gonna get married.” I remember the happiness and joy I felt inside. I would not have that feeling again for sixteen years.

Three years ago I was in pain. It was the pain of slavery to lust which was causing me deep trouble and threatening to ruin my entire life. The pain brought me into the SA fellowship. Thanks to the SA fellowship, and to my sponsor and through working the SA program, my deep trouble gradually turned into a blessing—into a life that is clean and sober. Sanity returned and I found a true connection with God. I don’t think I would ever have sought God so actively but for the pain and the brokenness that lust had caused me. This amazed me. What had seemed to me my worst misfortune turned out to be my greatest blessing. Isn’t that a miracle?

While participating in a Twelve-Step workshop last weekend, I had the opportunity to share my experience, strength, and hope on the topic of forgiveness. After the workshop, I was asked to write down my share for the ESSAY magazine, which follows here:
When I first worked the Twelve Steps a few years ago, I came to the Ninth Step through the guidance of my sponsor and, of course, through the grace of God. After making all the amends (none of them came easily to me) I went to my parents' house one day.

Our White Book says, “We saw that our problem was threefold: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Healing had to come about in all three” (SA 204). I have found it helpful to think of four areas: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

 
من در تمام عمرم یک معتاد جنسی بودم و این مهمترین واقعیت زندگی من است. من اعتیادهای دیگر و کمکِ انجمن های دیگر را نیز دارم. به قول معروف، اعتیادجنسی چیزی نیست که سریعتر از بقیه ی اعتیادهایم مرا بکشد، اما تمرکز اصلی زندگی من بر بهبودی در آن است، که فراگیرترین و بانفوذترینِ اعتیادهای من است

 
من با توجه به تعریف پاکی SA  به لطف نیروی برتر اکنون هشت سال است که پاک هستم. من عدد هشت را دوست دارم چون من را به یاد علامت بی نهایت می اندازد. (&) و  با وجود اینکه هنوز در حال یادگیری این هستم که در امروز زندگی کنم، این برنامه ی روزبه روز امید بی‌پایانی را به من می‌دهد

Making the way in the world today takes power you haven’t got.
Taking twelve steps from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get in SA?
Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same.
You wanna go where nobody knows your name.
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same.
You wanna go where nobody knows your name.

 
SA הגיעה להונגריה והתבססה בה בספטמבר של שנת 2019, כיום יש לנו שלוש פגישות שבועיות, שתיים אונליין ואחת משולבת בין משתתפים חיים לכאלה שדרך המחשב, ישנו דבר מעניין בקבוצות המשולבות המתקיימות בימי שני בבודפשט, ההשתתפות הפעילה משתנה תמיד, חברים באים והולכים, אבל יש לנו בין 6 ל8 חברים בדר''כ. סגנון הפגישות משתנה וכולל בין היתר שיתוף חופשי, קריאה בספר הלבן של SA, קריאה בספר הגדול של AA ודובר למסר.