ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

Practicing rigorous honesty has enabled him to grow in integrity in every area of his life. 
When I was in a treatment centre to deal with my addictions, they asked me to write down three words I would want to be written on my tombstone. I wrote Honest, Courageous, and Loyal. In writing this, I realized that honesty was at the root of all three. When I pledged to be rigorously honest, it meant I pledged to avoid even the smallest distortions, whether those were exaggerations, omissions, or self-serving tweaks to reality. Particularly, this is true with all matters relating to my wife and is the cornerstone of my loyalty to her.  

He found he could give himself entirely to this program on a solid foundation of honesty. 
When we read “How it Works” from the AA Big Book, I am encouraged by how little stands between me and recovery! Even being gravely emotionally and mentally disordered is not an obstacle (whew!). The one condition? To give myself to “this simple program” of the Steps.
 

Roland mentions in his article, "The Pursuit," how honesty was vital in his new relationship with his wife. How important has honesty been in your recovery? Have you needed help in identifying when you have been dishonest?

After years of being dominated by lust, this member is living life on a spiritual plane as a result of practicing the Program, with deep love for sponsorship. 
In my early childhood, I dreamed that something great was going to happen in my life. These were childish fantasies—on the level of a big castle, beautiful nature all around, a "prince," and a rich, heavenly life. As a child, I believed in my beautiful fairy tale.

God uses him to carry the message of recovery through his musical gifts.
My name is Winfried, and I come from Germany. I have been sober since February 14, 2013, thanks to God's grace. 
I am an “amateur musician.” I always enjoyed improvising because there were no rules. I could play and press the keys that God showed me. Above all, it calmed me because there are no mistakes when I improvise. My playing cannot be controlled because there is no sheet music. That made me feel very free.

By presenting himself as he truly is, God meets him there with His love that transforms.
It wasn’t on the mountaintop where God found me, but in the dust. Not in the polished image I tried to uphold, but in the disorder of my soul. Over these past three months of sobriety, I’ve come to understand something I once feared: that my weakness is not an obstacle to the sacred—it is the doorway to it.

He learned the difference between white-knuckling (reliance on self) and true surrender (reliance on God).
When I was still deep in my addiction, I thought I knew how to interact with women: I performed, I craved, I hunted for the thrill of being wanted. I called it “romance” and “connection,” but really, I just wanted to be needed and admired. Lust, in every form, ran the show.

Daily Surrender, Steps 10-12
He learned the difference between white-knuckling (reliance on self) and true surrender (reliance on God).
When I was still deep in my addiction, I thought I knew how to interact with women: I performed, I craved, I hunted for the thrill of being wanted. I called it “romance” and “connection,” but really, I just wanted to be needed and admired. Lust, in every form, ran the show.