ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)
The mission of ESSAY is to serve as a source of information, experience, strength and hope to sexaholics, both inside and outside the rooms of Sexaholics Anonymous. Our vision is to provide a high-quality “meeting in print” that gathers together members from around the world. It can serve as a portable “extra meeting” especially for loners and for members who don’t have access to many meetings. In addition, Essay serves as an outreach tool to carry the message to those who have not yet found SA. We strive to include a mix of stories and shares from a wide variety of members, including men and women, prisoners, and international members. In addition, ESSAY provides Fellowship announcements and information on subjects such as new meetings, Fellowship events, and our service structure. We hope that all of the articles we publish will offer useful information and provide experience, strength, and hope to all who suffer from the disease of sexaholism. Fellowship actvities such as international conventions, regional events and local events appear in the Calendar section. Each issue has a theme and various sections to share sexaholic stories and practical tools. In addition to letters and group news, ESSAY offers short, edited articles written by members about recovery and our solution. The Practical Recovery Tools section features members sharing on the topic, “Exactly how I did it.” Submissions may also include meditations, poetry, and humor. ESSAY is guided by the principles of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. Each issue contains the following statement:
Episodes
Episodes
Apr 11, 2025
Apr 11, 2025
5 min
Even when cut off from the world, you’re never cut off from recovery.A few years ago, I wrote an article about my experience sponsoring incarcerated fellows by mail. How different it is now to be one of them! As if I needed further proof that I’m just another “bozo on the bus”!
Apr 11, 2025
Apr 11, 2025
4 min
How a sponsor changed my lifeAll my life I went to church, served others, and believed in a higher power. I am married with seven children. However, I lived a secret life of pornography addiction for 27 years. I had a lot of trauma I did not know how to deal with after being abused as a child several times by four different men while growing up. My pornography use eventually led to a crime that put me in prison for four years.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025
1 min
Dear ESSAY,
Thank you again for the contributions of this magazine to our fellowship. It is very important! So many of our members look forward to the next issue. During the months that I spend in West Africa every year in fellowship with SA members, we download and distribute the current issue of the ESSAY. We don't have many hard copies of the White Book since the international mail and local m
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025
2 min
True surrender isn’t just asking for help—it’s offering ourselves to God’s plan.
In the Program, I’ve been building the muscle of asking God for help. “Help me be sober! Help me turn away from lust! Help me surrender! Help me! Help me! Help me!” As I strengthen this muscle—which sometimes requires an act of complete reliance—I’m also shifting my perspective to a gentler way.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025
2 min
Courage isn’t fighting lust—it’s surrendering it to God.My name is Steve, and I’m a recovering sexaholic. By God’s grace, sponsorship, and the Program, I’ve been sober since August 20, 2013. I haven’t had sex with myself or with anyone other than my spouse for over 11 years. I’ve also experienced some progressive victory over lust.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025
6 min
He kept relapsing until he changed what he was looking for.
I’m a low-bottom drunk. I was in active addiction for almost forty years. I was finally dragged into the Program fourteen years ago. Now, I’ve been sober for two years and three months. You do the math.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025
47 sec
We were in our meeting, led by a local fellow. During a moment of silence, we heard a crack. We didn’t know where the sound came from. Another crack followed, and then another.Slowly, one fellow sank to the floor. One of the legs of his plastic chair had completely broken, and he was now on the floor. We were all surprised, and then we burst out in laughter.I told him, “Relax, fellow—that doesn’t count as a relapse.”
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025
2 min
Lust was always a part of me, long before I knew its name. It had claimed me as one of its own in the darkness that would become my sexaholism—a universe-sized prison of my own making. My disease was quietly progressive. Some might argue that I haven’t hit my real rock bottom since my life has never been completely upended by my many relapses.