Monday Oct 13, 2025
ESSAY October 2025 - Flooded With Value and Worth - Kathie S., Devon, UK.
ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)
The mission of ESSAY is to serve as a source of information, experience, strength and hope to sexaholics, both inside and outside the rooms of Sexaholics Anonymous. Our vision is to provide a high-quality “meeting in print” that gathers together members from around the world. It can serve as a portable “extra meeting” especially for loners and for members who don’t have access to many meetings. In addition, Essay serves as an outreach tool to carry the message to those who have not yet found SA. We strive to include a mix of stories and shares from a wide variety of members, including men and women, prisoners, and international members. In addition, ESSAY provides Fellowship announcements and information on subjects such as new meetings, Fellowship events, and our service structure. We hope that all of the articles we publish will offer useful information and provide experience, strength, and hope to all who suffer from the disease of sexaholism. Fellowship actvities such as international conventions, regional events and local events appear in the Calendar section. Each issue has a theme and various sections to share sexaholic stories and practical tools. In addition to letters and group news, ESSAY offers short, edited articles written by members about recovery and our solution. The Practical Recovery Tools section features members sharing on the topic, “Exactly how I did it.” Submissions may also include meditations, poetry, and humor. ESSAY is guided by the principles of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. Each issue contains the following statement:
Listen on:
Episodes
Episodes
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
SA taught him that letting go of guilt was not only okay, but necessaryFear and shame were awaiting my entrance into the world. My grandmother was harassed and bullied for her parents’ financial struggles, language, skin color, and country of origin. So she resolved to protect her children from the same fate by refusing to pass down her native language, traditions, customs, or history, and insisting that they marry spouses who embodied her idealized notion of an acceptable national archetype. My mother’s inherited shame about her background then manifested itself by overcompensating for her own perceived shortcomings. This included raising children who embodied her idealized notion of success: good grades, etiquette, careers, marriages, etc.
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
An elder member in SA helped him see that he was addicted to himself.“You’re the most arrogant [person] I have ever met!” Although a more colorful word was used instead of “person,” this statement still saved my life.
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
His gratitude list was the hammer that crushed his guilt and shame.
I didn’t think I was fearful. I was a strong, tough male who had gotten in fights before and played contact sports like football, hockey, and rugby. So I thought that I wasn’t afraid of anything.
Then, after completing my Fourth Step fears inventory and talking to my sponsor, I realized and admitted that the fabric of my life was shot through with fear. I had so many fears; I despaired of ever overcoming them! One of my biggest fears was the fear of other people’s opinion of me. I wanted to be liked, praised, admired, respected, worshipped even, whether I deserved it or not. And that was not happening.
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
With his sponsor’s help, he learned to deal with shame and guilt. As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable (Twelve and Twelve 50).
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Peter shares in his article that initial guilt is a healthy response for him. However, shame and lingering guilt were very detrimental to his long-term recovery. He needed to understand how these harmed his recovery and what he could do to move out of guilt and shame as soon as possible—so that he could continue on his journey.
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
She found the freedom to choose in sobriety.Sobriety is a gift that your wise decisions give you. Sobriety is not limited to stopping sexual relations with another person or with yourself—that is only the beginning. Sobriety is having sanity in the face of life. It is exercising the self-control that already resides within you, that was given to you by your Higher Power to choose between what is good for you and what harms you.
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
SA helped her see more clearly how she was holding herself back from healing fully.I haven’t taken much time as of late to consider the role that trauma plays in my consistent relapses. I was abused sexually by my father at 13, and I had sexually abusive relationships from ages 19-22. I entered SA in July of 2021 without realizing my last relationship had ended with me being sexually assaulted. The brain is a funny organ like that. Through the fog of addiction to porn and my brain trying to protect me, the pieces didn’t fall into place until a friend showed me an article that described my ex perfectly, and that final puzzle piece of sexual abuse clicked.
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
A reflection on 30 years of working the Program reveals a life worth living. Thirty years ago today, August 8th, 1995, I walked into a church, sat down in a room full of strangers, and said: “My name is Bill and I’m…” Thirty years ago today, I started on a journey called Recovery.