ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

The Steps replace the addictive process with a Program of recovery. 
This happened almost 20 years ago, when I was just beginning this recovery Program. On my way to work, I was driving slowly when the vehicle behind me suddenly sped up and hit my car. It was a very minor collision, but I thought, “I can take advantage of this and get some money out of it. I’ll just say that he damaged the entire rear part of my car. I knew that the other damages had been caused previously and were in no way the responsibility of that driver.

This member embodies the honesty necessary to make this amends from the heart. 
To every brother in SA who has treated me with respect and kindness, who notices the discomfort of being the only woman in an SA meeting or event, to those who strive every day to make SA a safe place for us, to those who have treated me like their daughter or sister, to the loving brothers who welcomed me in SA—thank you!

Her sponsor helped her admit deep resentment towards her adoptive mother. 
Rigorous is “an adjective that means extremely thorough, exhaustive, or accurate.” Rigorous honesty is a commitment to complete truthfulness in all aspects of life, even when it's difficult or has consequences. Phew. To become rigorously honest is a process that develops through the recovery process. This addict had no clue how to be honest at the start of her journey, and to be rigorously honest seemed impossible. 

Honesty helps him take the Steps with sincerity of heart.
Honesty starts with my heart. My head is going to think of all kinds of reasons to dodge the truth. When I was trapped in addiction, I listened to my head for reasons and excuses to continue to act out. I followed my head, but my heart was unsettled. With grace from my Higher Power, I found SA and began following my heart. My connection with my Higher Power is mostly through my heart. 
 

Higher Power gives her the courage to turn her whole life over to the will of God. 
When I hear the words “rigorous honesty,” all kinds of things go through my mind: bringing the inside out, sharing with others, writing Tenth Step inventories, making phone calls, and sharing honestly and sincerely in meetings. In my recovery, it has already become clear that this is absolutely necessary. 

He learned through the Program to be honest in every area of his life.
Rigorous honesty with myself is the best medicine for the disease because my disease comes out of denial—lying to myself and others. Before lust, I learned to fantasize and make up fun stories. I took that into my daily life when I discovered I could just lie to avoid trouble or to deal with uncomfortable things.

Completely exposed before God with a willingness for Him to take away her defects gave her a vital spiritual experience. 
I have been in SA for five years, and am three years sober. I have been working through the 12 Steps with my sponsor, from the Step Into Action book. I am well aware that there are other methods in practice in SA, but I can only relate my own story (which I guess is rigorous honesty). It is a very detailed, painstaking method, and very deeply soul-searching, often quite painful, but extremely rewarding and beautiful nevertheless, and highly literature-based. This article is about my most recent, and extremely intense, Step work on beginning with Step Seven. The title reflects the almost white light experience Bill W experienced, but which had never happened to me, until now.
 

His Step One was seeing reality for the first time without the lies and admitting to himself that he was addicted. 
Rigorous honesty means the ability to share a feeling or situation with another person in a truly unbiased statement of fact. Addicts like to gloss over and shade the truth of events and characterize them from their point of view without consideration for the other party or the reality of the event.