ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

ESSAY June 2024 - What’s Going On in SA - The PIC / Workshop Subcommittee

“What can we do so that more women attend our meetings? What can we do to support women in SA? What can we give women when they come into our meetings? What are we doing wrong that women leave our meetings? How can we encourage more women in service?”
These are some of the questions that members of the Public Information Committee (PIC) have heard from SA members. It seems there is great interest to grow in this area with little information or help.

ESSAY June 2024 - My Journey with Step 11 - Kathie S., Devon, UK

I have been following a journey all my adult life toward what now, as a sober SA member, I think of as Step 1—and I am now almost 60. I am moved to write this article by The Real Connection reading for today, which at the time of writing is April 7. It describes a method of meditation which the writer felt could be useful to other members, that is, in silence paying attention to my breathing, and focusing on my breath as it goes in and out of my nose and mouth, letting go of my thoughts as they arise.

ESSAY June 2024 - He Is in Charge - Irori, Saitama Prefecture, Japan

I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.
 
I feel comfortable and can share honestly regardless of gender because the fellows gathering in this group firmly incorporate and practice the content of “Closing Statement” of The Twelve and Twelve and Sexaholics Anonymous.

ESSAY June 2024 - Dear ESSAY - Oscar M. and Evelyn T., Bogotá, Colombia

Dear ESSAY, we’d love to share the story of our Loving Chair with you all.
Jaime Daniel is one of the founders of our group. 12 years ago, he celebrated his 24th anniversary of sobriety in another fellowship where he received a small plastic chair as a gift. He donated that chair to our “La Liberación” group.
Since then, the chair serves as a reminder to us that our primary purpose is to keep our doors open to newcomers. For this reason, the voice of recovery takes precedence in our group. It is our wish that this voice gives hope to the person who hears the SA message for the first time.

ESSAY June 2024 - A Truly Blessed Addition - Ilona B., Canada/Singapore

When Zoom meetings started I was blessed to attend one or more meetings per day including for the first time a women’s only meeting. I didn’t have much experience attending meetings with other SA sisters. It was beautiful.
A daily meeting I attended regularly had a handful of regular sisters and we discussed starting an offshoot women’s only meeting. So “Bozos on the Bus Women” was created. It is a small meeting integral to my recovery. We share on topics that we’d likely not share in mixed meetings. We also laugh a lot. I feel very close to these women from all corners of the world, our commonality being sexaholics.

ESSAY June 2024 - Balancing Boundaries - Arpita S., India

As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a scientist. But life took a sharp turn when instead I became a lust addict. Accepting my struggle wasn’t easy. What I thought was innocent indulgence in pornography and fantasy spun out of control, and I came to feel completely powerless. I stumbled across SA on the Internet, but I was still under age, and I had to wait until I turned 18 to join the Program. And living in India, where we didn’t yet have face-to-face meetings, meant I had to rely solely on online support.

ESSAY June 2024 - Practical Tools for Mixed SA Meetings - Christina M., Ohio, USA

came into Sexaholics Anonymous at age 31. I am 55 today. I’ve seen a lot of women come and go. Based on behaviors I’ve experienced during those 25 years, I’d like to share some practical recovery tools how I treat the opposite sex at our mixed meetings:
I don’t exchange numbers with members of the opposite sex—especially if married.
I don’t touch another person without first asking permission.
I don’t invite a male member to spend time outside of the meeting—especially if married.
I don’t chat with members of the opposite sex on Zoom calls—especially if married.
I don’t comment on another person’s face, clothing, body, or overall appearance—I know that people who have been abused are especially very sensitive to this.

ESSAY June 2024 - The Five Basics - Karin W., Vancouver, Canada

Hi, I'm Karin W., a woman sexaholic, and on 27 June '23, I landed in SA. My sobriety date is Sept 1, 2023. I have a SA in-person home group, attend Zoom SA meetings, work the 12 Steps with a SA sponsor and do SA Correctional Facilities Committee (CFC) service work. Also, I'm committed to 'no' dating or getting into a relationship for a year, minimum. Before SA, I wanted to die.