ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

J'ai commencé ce programme en 12 étapes en partant du bas de l'échelle après avoir commis un adultère. Il ne me restait plus qu'à dire : "Je connais une solution. Je vais me suicider, puis je rejetterai la faute sur les autres. Que tout est de leur faute."

Dans ma mémoire, l'expression « bon deuil » était un juron courant des personnages de la bande dessinée Peanuts. Pendant une grande partie de ma vie, j'ai utilisé cette expression pour exprimer mon étonnement, ma consternation et ma frustration, sans jamais prendre en compte la vérité profonde cachée dans cet euphémisme. Avant d'entrer dans le programme SA (21/10/1998), je vivais avec une accumulation de chagrins gelés. Ce n'est qu'après avoir pratiqué quelques-unes des Étapes que j'ai commencé à comprendre et à accepter les avantages du deuil. Je me suis rendu compte que le fait de traverser une période de deuil me guérissait et me faisait du bien.

Sylvia a participé aux débuts des Sexoliques Anonymes (SA) et a joué un rôle de premier plan dans l'élaboration de la structure de service actuelle de SA.

Sylvia participated in the early history of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) and was a primary figure in the development of SA’s current service structure.
Jesse L. Brings SA to Oklahoma City: Sylvia joined SA in 1983. At that time, it was popular to be in a 12 Step program. She went to Al-Anon, Overeaters Anonymous, and many open AA meetings. She heard them talk about alcohol addiction and said, “I have the same problem with sex.”

In my memory, the expression “good grief” was a common expletive of the cartoon characters in Peanuts. For much of my life, I used “good grief” to express astonishment, dismay, and frustration, never considering the deeper truth hidden within the euphemism. Before I entered the SA program (10/21/1998), I lived with an accumulation of frozen grief. Only after a couple of journeys through the steps did I begin to understand and embrace the benefits of grieving. I realized that journeying through grief was healing and good for me.

by Sylvia J. (at six years SA sober) with the original 1989 title
Reprinted in Member Stories 2007, pages 120-123 with the title “The Only Way I Knew”
When I was a little girl, about five years old, I remember sitting on my grandfather’s lap and combing his hair. It gave me such happy, good feelings. My grandfather died when I was seven. From that time on, I had trouble in school. I couldn’t concentrate, I would daydream, and I had headaches. I was a lonely child after I lost that special relationship. I didn’t know how to get love like that from anyone else. So, I comforted myself in my fantasies where I was a fairy princess. My Prince Charming would come and carry me off. We would live in the land of happiness forever doing wonderful deeds and sharing our love.

I started this 12 Step program from the bottom after committing adultery. What was left was me saying, “I know a solution. I'm going to commit suicide, and then I'll blame everybody else. That it’s all their fault.”

A Legacy of Recovery through the Eyes of Those She Helped
Working the Steps: First, we discussed the Steps. Second, Sylvia asked, “Are you reading the White Book or have you read the Twelve and Twelve?” This was before Step Into Action was written. I read the White Book to get the essence of the Steps and read the Twelve and Twelve to work the Steps. Third, I wrote about how I worked that particular Step and read what I wrote to her. Lastly, Sylvia gave feedback to determine whether or not I needed to go into more depth on the Step. When I was disturbed, she asked what Step I should be working on. She said, “You need to pray and write.” -Peg V., Ohio, USA