ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

A Journey of 90 Meetings in 90 Days
Attending solution-focused meetings and working on his first step inventory gave him different feelings and helped him better see the depths of his addiction.
September 11th
This morning in the meeting, there was a powerful atmosphere among the 25 participants. Someone shared a recognizable anecdote of my own disease: when another person shares about his acting out, which differs a lot from the one listening, he tends to be envious.
 

In living a life of selfless giving, he finds his needs, joy, and serenity supplied. 
I've had several conversations over the last 24 hours about Step One. It seems to me that everything, right down to the core of my being, resisted admitting my powerlessness. This has been, quite possibly, the biggest hurdle in my recovery journey. Admitting complete defeat felt like dying; it felt like giving up; it felt like the end. 

A life-changing condition forced this member to embrace self-care and God’s peace more fully, giving her more to offer others. 
My journey through recovery has been a joy and a great challenge, because I have a number of medical conditions. I'd like to write from my heart about what positive sobriety looks like to me today.

She often forgets that being happy happens on the inside and not on the outside.
I often tell newcomers, so they know it is part of the process, that it is okay to feel the pain of quitting lust. I also tell them that it is not me who stopped or quit lust. It was my Higher Power and the company of SA’s women´s meetings that I stayed abstinent and didn’t commit any harm to myself. Even though I was abstinent, I wasn’t sober because I was thinking: “Will I ever find love? Why did I end up in SA? I want to be a corporate manager again.” It was important to me who I was on social media, all on the outside. I wanted all these things to show off. I often asked myself, “If I stayed sober, would I look as happy as people do on Instagram posts?” Well, it turns out that no! It’s not even close!

Practicing the 12 Step solution allows her to come into recovery and experience pain without numbing out. 
“How can you lose your sobriety if you’re not even sober?!” I was listening to an old-timer when these words echoed in my ears. At that time, I had two years of sobriety, but I was sick and drunk.

When choosing between meditation to know God’s will and helping the person in need, God’s will was immediately revealed. 
The Solution says, “We began practicing a positive sobriety, taking the actions of love to improve our relations with others” (SA 205). A recent experience that made me grow describes this quote. Last month, I visited my aunt. I spent money from my tight budget and traveled for over a day to visit her, since she now depends on others. It was stressful to find the right ticket, make several plane stops, run to catch one, and—worst of all—be bloated. The only sure thing I knew was that I would have lustful temptations.

He discovered that by living in the Steps, he found a spiritual home for himself in SA.
I did not come because I was full of hope;
I came when I’d run out of ways to cope.
I did not come because I loved the Steps;
I came when my life was tangled, a mess.

Integrity has to be practiced in every aspect of his life.
I’ve been seeing ads on social media offering a huge collection of books about psychology, therapy, healing, motivation, and self-improvement for only 100 Mexican pesos. A question arose in me: Could this be dishonest? I asked those people whether they were the authors of that material, and their answers were everything except “yes.”